The Halloween Zine: Hannibal's home, Michael "speaks"
#5 - The trailer park's howlin' and growlin', too!
Happy mid-September, Superfans!
Mother Nature’s keeping the thermostat on its toes this month. That’s not stopping the Halloween season from heating up, though, especially since we’re seasonal spirit armies of one.
Speaking of spirits…
Took another trip to Spirit Halloween this weekend with a 20% coupon burning a hole in my pocket.
I don’t remember coming across this gem during our last trip:
The Silence of the Lambs tie-in was an immediate draw, and the polyester and spandex blend closed the sale.
I hope this’ll look great on my home office door and keep our cats downstairs.
You can get it for the same price on Amazon, and if you’re a Prime member, score some free two-day shipping along with it.
Trailer park
Wolf Man
If this teaser trailer is any early indication, this will play to packed houses and earn its jump scares.
Everything about the trailer works: Sound effects, visual effects, story setup, acting, and dialogue.
Love the idea of Julia Garner in the “maternal” role, since she crushed that and so much more in Ozark. Not familiar with the other two main characters yet, but I can’t wait for a full trailer to get an idea of what they’ll bring to this.
Never Let Go
Oscar® winner Halle Berry anchors this horror flick about a family who’s endured an evil spirit’s torment for years.
Berry plays a mom to two young sons whose understandable obsession with their safety has them living a highly ritualized life.
The trailer may be hinting the entity manages to possess her at some point, or that her fierce determination to protect her family takes her to pitch dark places.
I’m curious to see how it plays out.
Michael Myers “spoke out” last season
In last week’s edition, I said I’d share an editorial I wrote from Michael Myers’ perspective… if he was a wise-cracking murderer who enjoys pop culture.
Why did I write it?
For over forty years, The Shape had taken no prisoners. The consummate professional antihero remained silent while the franchise lurched and listed its way through the decades.
He broke that silence last fall, and he had plenty to say. While Halloween Ends pushed many peoples’ buttons, but for him, it was personal.
And long overdue.
He was also gracious enough to revisit his post this week, sharing this thoughts with the benefit of a year’s hindsight.
The original:
An Open Letter From Michael Myers to the Halloween Ends Writers
Today marks almost a year since Halloween “ended” (← those are air quotes).
I was feeling pretty good about myself after Halloween Kills. I’d bested a vengeful mob, silenced an obnoxious, trespassing Karen forever (you’re welcome), had a quick reunion with some ’78 survivors (knife to see you again!), and spent some quality time at good ol’ Lampley Lane.
I was in a different place after the hot mess formerly known as Halloween Ends. Literally, a different place. The crew nicknamed it “the land down under”; Everyone else (raises knife-wielding hand) calls it the sewer.
I know I’m not Four Seasons material, but come on! I’ve put a lot of money in your pockets. Would it have killed you to splurge for a B&B? Pennywise hasn’t spoken to me for a year, and It stopped attending our weekly horror icon card games.
Then there’s Corey Cunningham. The twerp babysitter on script page one becomes my protege on page who cares? He’s giving me notes?
Are you kidding me?!
Will the demon in The Exorcist: Believer get a sidekick? Will Jason Voorhees get a Mini-Me ? ( ← I’d pay to see it)
I spared Corey’s pathetic life because it was a pathetic life. High school kids bullied the dude and left him for dead. That’s as rock bottom as it gets. Unless, of course, you live in the sewer.
I looked Corey in the eye as I’ve looked all of my victims in the eye. Doesn’t make us instant BFFs, there was no knowledge transfer, and let’s not forget canon here. Stumped?
I. Work. Alone.
Well, technically I do work with other people, but they die, so, shrug.
There are fresh ideas, foolish ones, and confounding ones.
Later in the movie, the twerp overpowers me. ← I can’t believe I just typed that, and it blows my freaking mind that YOU not only typed it, WE filmed it.
Guess we should take a flamethrower to canon, go out in a literal blaze of glory? If high schoolers can bully you, I’m not where you want to start earning your fighting chops.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m getting up there. But I’m as old man strong as it gets — unless, of course, you jokers are writing the script.
Then Corey steals my mask. Again, with the mask. Because that worked out so well for Karen.
Ending Corey’s sorry-excuse-for-a slasher life was a mercy kill. He was supposed to live, but I was furious , so I ad-libbed the scene. It was one quiet movie set at that point.
Got a kick out of the “What’s gotten into Michael?” whispers.
They should be asking what’s gotten into director David Gordon Green. He told some media outlet he was “…so excited to tell that story.” Well, I’m glad he didn’t base his creative decisions on something silly like, oh, I don’t know, what the fan base wanted?
For horror movie franchises, the “will they or won’t they” is whether the killer dies in the end. In this case, I did die. Of embarrassment.
You’re on my list, Greenie. And you “yes” men co-writers who respected his “vision” when you should’ve staged an intervention? You’ll be taking my meeting soon enough.
Happy Friggin’ Halloween.
P.S. Tell Laurie I said thanks for the industrial shredder session. Really worked the decades of knots out. I’ll see her around.
Michael, reflecting on his post one year later…
First, thanks for reaching out. And don’t think this makes us friends. My last “friend” stole my mask. I’ve killed him and others for less.
As for my post…
You’re still on my list, Greenie. Your half-hearted mea culpa may be a huge move for a Hollywood insider, but “disconnected” doesn’t even belong in the same hemisphere, much less the same zip code, as what you did.
You’ve skid-marked a franchise. And that’s coming from a guy who somehow stayed clean living in a sewer (← thanks again for THAT personal touch!)
Pennywise forgave me as soon as It read your ridiculous post defending your decisions. So, congratulations! You’ve made another icon’s list, and It’s surveillance capabilities would blow the NSA’s mind.
And there may be another icon joining our revenge tour. I’ve gotten several texts from one livid demon since The Exorcist: Believer went to an early box office grave.
I don’t know WHAT possesses you, but I do know what COULD.
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That’s another edition! I may have a cool surprise for next week depending on how the week breaks.
Looking further ahead…
In October, Michael will share his take on the entire franchise. It’s an epic take down from a guy who’s earned it and has the scars to prove it.